Monday, November 7, 2011

Hi Everyone - thanks for taking the time to make it over and read.  It's very cathartic and therapeutic for me to get my thoughts out in words, and I firmly believe that every prayer or positive thought coming my brother's way is a blessing.

Four weeks ago, Stevie flew B.J. (my hubby) down to Austin, TX for the Cotton Bowl.  It was an early birthday gift for B.J., and they were going to go to Dallas for the Bowl and then B.J. would fly home from there.  Well, on the night the BJ arrived, he and Stevie and Ash went out for a few beers, but called it an early night as Tebe (my nickname for my Bub), wasn't feeling well.  By the next morning, he was throwing up violently and his ankles were swollen to twice their size.  After reluctantly agreeing to go to the ER, he was admittedly immediately as his blood pressure was stupid high.  And by stupid high, I mean like 220/165.  Stroke bait.  Heart attack in a box.  And, his creatnine and BUN levels were too high.  Those numbers basically measure how well your kidneys are functioning and what their general output of protein and all that good stuff is.  A normal number is 1.5.  Tebe was checked in with a 3.5.  A patient will be dialyzed when his number reaches 4 or higher. 

So, at this point, he was diagnosed with Acute Kidney Failure.  Since moving to Austin last year, Tebe has become somewhat of a health nut and works out regularly, and consumes large amounts of whey protein.  This, we thought and hoped, was the cause of this AKF.  His kidneys just became too taxed with trying to process all this protein.  But, by the next day, his numbers were getting worse instead of better.  The doctor began to suspect something else was at play here.  This is where the 'I'm flipping out so badly I can't concentrate on anything for more than twenty seconds' stage began, but I remained positive despite the ominous feeling.  My parents and friends/family did the same thing. 

The following week, his doctor ordered a kidney biopsy as his numbers kept getting worse.  His doc told him if anything, we want it to be a form of nephropathy called IgA because he could live a long life before having to be dialyzed with the proper treatment.  So, the biopsy comes back, and lo and behold, it's IgA Nephropathy.  Except it's the "Rapidly Progressive" kind that only two percent of patients with this disease suffer from.  Devastation upon hearing this news is the understatement of the century.  My mom called to tell me; I called Ash, his girlfriend, and we cried until we could no longer understand each other.  I got in the car to drive to my husband and tell him the news.  All the while, I was trying to reach my brother on the phone, and I was scared beyond reason of how his mental state would be.  When I saw B.J., I collapsed in his arms and told him that Stevie was deathly ill, and that it could get worse.  At that time, the phone rang, and it was him.  It was Stevie.  I tried to compose myself, but right after I answered and heard the words, "Hey Sissy," I completely lost it.  Stevie, on the other hand was Positive Polly.  I couldn't get over how calm and reassuring he was.  As an aside, Stevie has come to know God on a personal level since moving to Austin, and I know this was a huge reason for his demeanor.  He calmly explained to me that since his disease was the bad kind of IgA, he would immediately start chemo for a six month period in an attempt to bring his kidney function to livable percentage. 

This meant that in a four day span, he and Ash had to make plans to freeze his sperm, which, for those of you who know Stevie was made absolutely hilarious with hourly updates and statements such as, "They can't even get a guy some lotion?  My hand are like boulders over here!"  Only he could make a situation that could have been so charged and sad into a funny one.  For that, I am so grateful.

Fast forward three weeks...Tebe had the chemo in his system - twice a day - everyday, and he was on a dose twice the amount that a breast cancer patient takes.  But in all of that, it was he who was reassuring us that he was fine.  It was he who was making it to work everyday and talking his neurotically worried big sister off the ledge every hour.  He couldn't sleep because he kept dreaming he was drowning.  This was thought to be caused by the fluid accumulation around all of his organs - including his lungs.  But, again, he never complained.  He continually assured us that he was going to beat this even though his kidneys, "Suck Nuts," as he so eloquently explained.  Well, last Monday, they tested his numbers to make sure they were doing what they were supposed to.  And guess what, not only were they NOT responding the right way, they were getting worse.  Way worse.  End Stage Renal Failure worse.  Tebe's kidneys were functioning at a whopping six percent. 

So, that brings us to now.  The docs immediately put him on the transplant list, they took him off the Lasik medication, and they kept him on the chemo in a last ditch effort to get his numbers up.  My brother, as positive as he is, is a realist, and he knows his numbers aren't going to get better.  He looks like a 'Mother F'ing Stuffed Pig'  - his words, and he feels absolutely horrible.  Is he complaining?  Cause you can bet your sweet ass I'd be pissed and sad and depressed and I would be telling him about it!  But him?  Nope.  Not a complaint.  Just a request for a donor match so he can get a kidney and go on with his life.  Typing those words makes me want to crawl inside of a hole and not come out.  Knowing that I have a baby brother whom I love so very much and who is so very sick and is still positive and sure that he is going to be fine, makes me more proud than I ever thought I could be.

Here's where your prayers and positive thoughts come in.  More than likely, he will start dialysis this week.  From there, they will start testing us - his family - for donors.  I'm begging and pleading with every fiber of my being that I'm a match.  If you can pray and send wishes that I'm a good match, it would mean more than the world to me.  Until we find out that I'm not, that's what I'm asking for as far as prayers go.  If I'm not, than we'll move onto prayers for a match to show up quickly, but for now, I desperately want to be able to give him a kidney. 

I know I have written a novel, and I so appreciate you sticking around and reading this.  That action alone puts positive vibes toward him, and that's all I can ask for. 

I love my little brother like I love my children.  He is seriously the best friend any sister could ask for.  He's also the greatest Uncle my kids could have.  I pray with all my heart that his sickness and pain is eased by your prayers and positive thoughts, but I especially pray that God allows me to qualify as a donor. 

Thank you, again, for your time.  If you'd like to leave a comment either here or on facebook to let Tebe and me know that you've got his back, it would be so greatly appreciated.

Brandie

12 comments:

Melissa (your city cousin) said...

Brandie, you know I feel like you are family, and my heart is breaking for you, Steve, and your whole clan. I keep you all in my prayers every day. You are a bunch of tough and funny cookies and I know you'll come out on the other side of this stronger and nuttier than ever. Love you.

B said...

M - I can't thank you enough for that - it truly lifted my spirits, and you have to know that you are MY family, too. I love all of you so very much.

Lynne Bobe said...

So sorry to read about your brother. He sounds very courageous and faithful, with good family support. I will say prayers for him and hope he finds a good kidney match and then go on to live a long life full of great things.

Kristen said...

Oh Brandie. I am sad to think of all the mental anguish your family has been through. I am amazed at Stevie's strength and faith. It sounds like he has been given peace by God that everything is going to be alright. Hold onto that as much as you can. I'll be praying that you're the match, and that 50 years from now you can tease him about how he "owes you one". I love you and your family and will keep you all in my prayers.

Cher said...

Brandie, Lots of prayers to you, Tebe and the entire family! Keep your heads up, this will work out! BELIEVE!!! Gotta Believe!!!!!

Brenda R. said...

You will understand that I am very concerned by this news - since I have known "Stevie", as we called him from the time he was just a little boy in our neighborhood on through his high school years spent there. (Dannie will be of the same mind after I share this info with him.) Such a gregarious spirit...one that not just us, but lots of folks will want to see come through this! Accept that your brother is positive and upbeat for a reason, and I hope all will work out whether you or somewhat else may be the donor for him. You know he will be in our thoughts and prayers. If he is not yet on our St. John's UCC prayer chain, I will see that he gets there. Hang in there, all of you!

B said...

Thank you guys, from the bottom of my heart. Your words help a great deal in letting us know that we're not alone in his fight.

Anonymous said...

Brandie and Stevie,

Bless your sweet hearts. My thoughts and prayers are with Stevie, as well as the family and Ashley. Thank you so much for sharing, as I didn't know or realize the extent of Stevie's illness. I will be praying on a daily basis for Brandie's kidney match and a full recovery for Stevie. I know the deep love for one's siblings, as I am lucky enough to have experienced such joy of mine in my life. I also get to watch the love my own children have and show for one another. I so love and respect the fact that Stevie is so very courageous, uplifting to his own family, and shows a positive attitude to all those who love him. He is such a blessing and I have always known what a very special guy he is. My heart goes out to my Aunt Dot and Uncle Steve, who have always been a very special part of my life, from the time I was a very little girl. You are all in my prayers. Know that I am here for you. With love to all. Pandy
Brandie, could you please share your heartfelt blog with my children? I know they would appreciate it.

Cassie said...

I am so sorry to hear this about Stevie. My heart literally ripped in two when I heard he was sick. Then I heard just how sick he was. And now reading your blog to really put it in perspective...I'm praying. I'm sending as much healing thoughts as I can. I love him like a brother, as you know, since we all grew up in Franklin Heights. Please please please keep us updated and let me know if there is anything I can do. Seriously...I'd give him my kidney!

Love you all.

Molly said...

Hi Brandi, my name is Molly and I graduated from high school with Steve. I am so sorry to hear about what he is going through. I wanted to let you both know that I am a renal dietitian and work at a dialysis center. If there are any questions I can answer for you or any resources I can provide you, please don't hesitate to email me. I know how overwhelming the diet can be especially for someone who has been thrown into this as unexpectedly as Steve has. My email address is mollysue2@gmail.com. I'm praying for you guys!

Unknown said...

God is bigger than anything we could ever imagine or think! He has a perfect plan for Stevie and your family and that plan will be fulfilled in Jesus' name!! Thank God everyday for His promise... Agreeing with you in prayer..
Lori & Eric

Renee Lyle said...

Brandie,
I had no idea about any of this until Monday night. I knew that Stevie wasn't well, but this is beyond what I had ever thought of. My thoughts, prayers, hopes are with all of you! I really hope that you are a match and if not, then hope that a donor will be found soon! I can't even imagine the pain that he is going through along with the family. But, am really glad to hear that Stevie is in good spirits and that he has found God. Only He has the answers but can only hope & pray that they are the best for all of you. Continuing thoughts, prayers for Stevie, you and the family!