Thursday, February 9, 2012

On my Way...

Do you ever just feel like you have so much spinning around in your head that if you don't get it out in some form or another, it might explode? Well, I feel like that all the time - of course figuratively speaking, but in my case, literally also. I have suffered from chronic sinusitis all my life. I've had MRSA in there; I've taken every anti-inflammatory and antibiotic known to man, and I've flushed my nose with salt water probably over 10,000 times. And that's not an exaggeration AT ALL. At one time, during my pregnancy with Marlo, the infection was so bad that I had to have a six week IV treatment with Rocephin - two times a day - straight into my arm and into my system. And while it worked for a tad bit, it didn't really do much. I had my THIRD sinus surgery in July of 2010. The doctor who performed my first one said that I was definitely one of the worst cases he'd seen. In the last 20 months - since my last surgery, I have suffered from 'sinus migraines'. They feel like a migraine, but they aren't nuerological in form - they are because my sinuses get so filled with infection that they basically become like rocks inside my head and the pressure creates all kinds of problems. My only form of relief is pain medicine - both prescription and OTC. But now, I'm sick of it. I'm pissed off. I'm so tired of being dependent on drugs to mask this pain, and when I say dependent - I mean it literally. I KNOW I'm dependent on these pain meds because gradually I've had to increase my dose to get the same relief. I. WANT. OFF. OF. THEM. I don't want to become addicted to pain medication, which is a HUGE possibility when you take them regularly like I do. So, a few weeks ago, I went to see Andrea Stephens - Doc Rohrer's NP. For those of you who haven't been to her, you're missing out. Not only did she listen to me basically break down about my situation and listen to me blab on about my fear of addiction, blah, blah, blah, she took a vested interest in my case. She mentioned a place in California who is dealing with these sinus nebulizers to get the meds straight to your sinuses instead of having to go through your entire system. I've been on so many anti-biotics in my lifetime that if a super bacteria ever hits, I'm the first to go - seriously. But this is different, and the success rate is high. When she mentioned it, I kind of brushed it off as I've been told things by the medical community before that really never came to fruition for varios reasons. But later in the week, the place in California called me. THEY CALLED ME. All because Andrea took the time to call them and fill them in on my info and send them scripts in my name. Over the last few weeks, we've been in communication, and today, I ordered it. I ordered the machine that has the potential to change my life. I know that sounds drastic, but it's not in the least. My headaches, and my infections and constant fatigue, have put a huge damper on my life. I can't exercize; I can't run around the yard with my kids; I have the energy of an old, dying sloth. I'm tired of it. I know BJ and the kids have to be tired of it. I'm tired of it consuming 80% of my thoughts and I'm tired of being dependent on pain meds to get me through my activities. I know I have high hopes for this, and if it doesn't work, then I'll move on to the next alternative. But right now, at this moment, I'm filled with more hope than I've had in a long time. I desperately want to get back in shape. I desperately want to have the energy that having four kids requires. And I desperately want off these meds. I'm tired of my backpack looking and sounding like a pharmacy from all the meds clinking around in it. So, these words, and this sinus junk, literally have to GET OUT of my head. I think I'm going to put Eminem's "I'm Not Afraid" on repeat today. Ok, so that's a little overboard, but I'm so ready for this. I'm so ready to get myself back and stop letting my sinuses have all the glory. No more. And, if you have a medical problem, please consider seeing Andrea. I can't tell you how wonderful she was, and how much time and energy she put into helping me. Here's to clear sinuses, a healthy body and mind, and being back to 'me'. Bring it on!