Valentines Day {Waxing Philosophical)

Happy Valentines Day, Everyone. I hope your lives are as filled with love as mine is. As I was falling asleep last night, after having played nurse to two kiddos with Influenza B all day, I was suddenly overcome by how blessed and full my life is. And, I felt I had no choice but to get it out of my head and onto paper (or screen, as is the case).

BJ lost his job back in June. Since then, he's been drawing unemployment, working as a Sub in the VCSC schools, and going to school to finish his teaching degree. Needless to say, with four kids, times are tight, especially now that Illinois Unemployment has taken away his pay because he's in school. We have appealed it, but we won't know anything until they contact us with an answer. Why do I share this? Well, because despite our financial situation, I've never felft 'richer' in my entire life.

Yes, I know that sounds cliche, and cheesy, but it's absolutely the truth. My family lives in a 1600 sq. foot house. With two big adults and four BIG kids, that's not a lot of space, and nerves can get jangled easily when it's loud. BUT, I love that we are crammed together. I love that we have no choice but to be in each other's company. I love that my boys have to share a room and that usually, one of them ends up in bed in our room anyway!

I feel so blessed to have a husband who is bettering his future for himself and his family. It's surreal and wonderful to be having discussions with him concerning Aristotle! Aristotle? Really? I love it. I couldn' have asked for a better friend and partner in life. Sure, I want to brain him 25% of the time, but I can deal with that. It's the other 75% that's so important, and I totally lucked out there.

My kids are truly the light of my life. I've changed my mindset on few things, and it has opened me up to so many more moments that truly are the 'richest' ones in my life. When Sam, (Number One) turned ten this year, it hit me like a ton of bricks. He is on the downward slope of the time he will be with me. AND, it will be less than the first nine years because so much of his time will go to friends and sports and all things that teens do. And while it does knock the wind out of me to realize this, it has also pounded home what I've known to be true all along: love every moment now, for they won't last. I'm not saying I enjoy every moment. Oh no - I don't enjoy the sibling screaming matches, the whining, the incessant messiness, the crabiness. But, I do LOVE them. At the end of the day, despite what the day has held, I love the moments - crazy ones and all. And I'm making more of an effort to show my kids the joy I'm getting from just the small stuff. And since I've been opening myself up to it more, the kids have been giving me more.

With my business, I couldn't feel more blessed and happy. I love that I get to meet and 'know' so many families with what I do. I feel like I have learned so much about my own family by interacting with so many others. I'm striving everyday to continue to improve, and I'm hoping it shows. I run my biz in a way that's probably not conducive to the most successful business model. In fact, I often don't collect payment when I should, or I don't charge what I should, but I sort of feel like everything comes back around, and that's why I have so much joy in this job. I was burned a while back when someone canceled a wedding because they found another alternative. I hadn't made them sign the contract when I did the engagement shoot because I felt bad about them having to pay so much at one time. Because they didn't sign the contract, they went with someone else - even though I had held that date - one of the most popular wedding date weekends - for them. I had turned down two other inquiries for that day because I wanted them to have the date - even though I hadn't gotten a down payment. Needless to say, I was really hurt about the situation, and at first, I thought of changing how I handle my biz practices to prevent a future event like this one. And while I have changed a few things, I'm not going to let this change me. I've put a few things in place, like collecting a down payment at booking, but other than that, I do trust that people for the most part are true to their word. AND, I hold no ill will for the couple. I truly do hope their wedding photos are everything they hope for. As for the photographer who booked them, I can only hope he/she didn't know they had a verbal contract with someone else. And if they did, I hope I never resort to running my business that way. Everything comes full circle, and I feel like the true joy I feel from this 'work' is payback enough.

So, I've rambled a lot. I've cheesed out, so to speak. But, I had to get it down. I had to let my little family unit of love know how I feel. Even in the most desperate times, I know that I can squeeze together with my babies and my husband and feel richer than I could have ever imagined. I hope that on this Valentine's Day, your life is full of all the love you want and need.

B