Sam and Lukas are Turning TWELVE!

It's hard to imagine that the friendship of these two goofballs began in the womb! Bill and Kathy, and BJ and I, were in the same birthing classes, and when I left the hospital after having Sam, Kathy checked in to have Lukas. Their friendship really took off in preschool, and after many playdates and ballgames, and sleepovers through gradeschool, these guys are still best friends in middle school! And, our family couldn't be happier; Lukas is one of the kindest, smartest kids we know, and we are so grateful that Sam has him. Happy Birthday Sam and Lukas; may you celebrate MANY more birthdays together in your futures!

It honestly was such a great party!

"Super Wy" is Seven Months!

Wyatt has the most beautiful eyes that I've ever photographed.  And it's not because I'm his God Mother and biased.  Obviously, I love him, and so I think he's perfect, but honestly, I've never seen someone with eyes so blue and lashes so dark and long - they are gorgeous!  He is so laid back, and his adorable personality makes him even cuter - if that's even possible.  He and his big Bub "Tote" are my little sweethearts, and getting to capture them as they grow is truly a blessing.

Starting the Year off Perfectly!

This shoot embodies the exact direction I'd like to take my photography. It's the real, unposed shots - the lifestyle shots - that made me fall in love with this art in the first place. Somewhere between shoots, processing, running a business, and a household, I lost that spark - that immense love I have for capturing real time in peoples' lives. This year, I want less shoots, but more real. I want the detail in the moments to be captured in all my clients. Starting now, I'm going back to what makes me, me. Please join me for this photographic journey, beginning with beautiful Isabelle. First off, I could have sat in her room all day; the light - the decor - the colors - everything was perfect. Almost as perfect as she is. This little angel is so very loved, and I'm thrilled that my lens caught so many moments between her and her doting Mama and Pops!

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Back in the Saddle....

A new year.  A new begining.  I love the idea of a do-over, and every January 1, it feels like just that - a chance to change things that aren't going so well, and to continue on with the things that are. 

This past year was a VERY mixed bag for me.  On one hand, my brother received a life-saving organ and operation, which pretty much trumps all bad for me.  However, on the other hand, we lost my sweet Uncle Jim, and our sweet Boston.  BJ became very ill, and that was a scary time that I don't care to revisit.  Ever.  Some unfortunate things happened in my business - things that were out of my control - but overall, they've become good learning experiences.  Overall, though, we made it out unscathed - reasonably healthy, and hell of lot better off than many people.

I'm excited about this new year; I'm excited to begin another journey in my business, with the most wonderful and supportive husband alive, and with the punkiest of punks by my side.  It sounds so cliche - and it is - but my GOD, time slows down NEVER.  And the more you concentrate on how fast life passes by, the quicker it seems to go.  My oldest baby is turning 12 this month.  This is the last year he will ever be a preteen.  His voice is getting deeper, he's lost his baby fat, and he's finding his own identity.  While I'm so grateful for that, and while I have certainly enjoyed all the moments from there to here, it literally takes the wind out of me when I think about the relatively short time we have left with him.  With all of them really...time slows down for no one.

With this is mind, my goal for this year is to rid myself of everything that is cluttering up my life in some form or another.  All the physical STUFF that clutters my house - all the things that I felt like I NEEDED, but don't, are going.  If I don't love something or actually use it often, it's getting the boot. Clothes, knick-knacks, anything and everything is getting evalutated.  Mentally, I have A LOT to purge.  I've always had a problem dealing with negative things that people say - even when I KNOW that the sayers are idiotic twits with nothing important enough in their lives to occupy the mean part of their brains.  I know this.  I'm reminded of this by everyone who loves me.  My worth is not dependent upon what people think of me, although I think it's a normal human desire to be liked.  I learned a lot about the spiteful nature of some just recently, and while it did hurt, it only taught me mean people suck.  Plain and simple.  The Grateful Dead were dead on.  I need to purge the pathways in which these people get to me.  I need to stop checking out FB posts in which mean people (and dare I say, not so smart people) not so subtly post snarky and ridiculous things.  If I don't read them, they can't affect me!  Stop reading them, dumbo - it's that simple!  Will they still be small minded, not so smart individuals who still post stupid things?  Absolutely!  But I don't have to let it affect me.  I am letting go of it. 

While I clear out what I don't need, I'm going to welcome some things that I do.  One of those things is reading.  I'm a better person when I'm deep into a book.  I'm more introspective, creative, and fun.  And while that may seem strange to some, it is absolute truth for me.  My goal this year is 50 books.  It averages to roughly a book a week; I think it's doable.  My reader makes selecting, purchasing, and reading the books so easy, so I don't really have an excuse.  I'm also going to work out regularly.  I would be lying if I said it's not so I can look good while standing next to my Barbie looking soon to be sister-in-law in their wedding in May, but I can honestly say it's not the main reason anymore.  This life is such a gift, and to waste it feeling tired and like an out of shape schlep most days is disgraceful.  I'm tired of it, both literally and figuratively.  Cooking is going to be a top priority for me.  I love it, and I love recipes.  We eat fast food way too often because of the convenience, but that is something that is going to change as well.  And when I type the word recipes, I immediately think of Pinterest - my own little form of Heaven - and I'm vowing to create a Pinterest craft once a month.  I'm even thinking of hosting a little crafting session in my studio for photography related crafts. 

So, while my list isn't long, I certainly have some areas in my life in which goals and perserverence will certainly pay off.  One of my biggest goals that I didn't mention, is this blog.  Last year, I used it mainly as a tool in the fight for my brother.  And after a post generated so many calls from potential donors, I was scared to use it for anything else.  But not anymore.  This will be my vehicle for everything...photography, kids, family, business matters, and general stuff about life.  So, please feel free to join in on the conversations.  I LOVE reading comments - even if they are privately emailed.  I recently received 46 inbox messages on facebook lending me support over a ridiculous circumstance, and I greatly appreciated them.  If you don't feel like posting publicly, inbox me - I read EVERY last message, evern if don't get around to replying right away.  What are some of your goals - your 'resolutions' so to speak?

Here's to a new year, a new chance, and the same me with some improvements.  Cheers!

B

 

Here we go.....

Ok, so you know when you’ve asked someone for a favor, and they act weird about it, and you retort with a, “God, I’m not asking for your kidney – just forget I even asked!”? Well, in the next few paragraphs, I AM going to be asking for your kidney, so stop reading now if you know in your heart you could never donate it. And, I won’t judge you for it; it’s a scary thing to think about losing an organ. It’s a scary prospect to face the rest of your life with HALF of your body’s filtration system. But, if you read about what happens to Living Kidney Donors, you’ll be inundated with facts on how your other kidney, by the Grace of God’s brilliant design, will step up to the plate and say, “I’ll miss you, Buddy; it’s been a good 25 years, but I got this. You go and start your work elsewhere. Please tell Steve I got this over here.”

It’s amazing what your body does to adapt after kidney donation. Did you know that on average, kidney donors live a longer life due to the fact that they generally take better care of themselves after the transplant? Are there risks? Of course there are. I don’t want to bore you with the details of the minute amounts of things that can go wrong. But, you can find so much info out there anyway. If you’ve read this far, it seems you at least have an interest in calling the toll free number to start the process.

Obviously, I have a vested interest in this case. It’s taken me several weeks, days, hours, and moments to come to terms with the fact that in the biggest time of my baby brother’s need, I failed him. I couldn’t save him, even though there was NOTHING in this world that I wanted more. I could write volumes on what my brother means to me…on how giving him a world not attached to tubes and wires and a thousand medications was something that I didn’t even quite understand how badly I wanted. It was as if a hole had been punched through me that would never close.

But, for reasons that I’ll probably never understand, it wasn’t meant to be. His big sister, who solved all his problems when he was a little boy, couldn’t solve this one, despite praying and hoping with every fiber of her being that she could. And with that, I have turned my shock, hurt, anger, feelings of failure and inadequacy into an energy that I can only describe as fierce. I WILL find him a donor. I WILL, in all ways possible, help save my brother. It’s the same path I started out on, only now, my determination is geared in a different direction.

I am going to post a toll free number at the bottom of this. When I’m done, and you sit with the thought in your head of, “Man, I really want to do this, but I have a family,” or, “I’m too young, or too old, or too out of shape,” I only ask that you pray about it if that’s what you do. By calling the number, you are simply agreeing to be tested as a POSSIBLE match. They may even rule you out over the phone due to a few reasons, but it CAN’T hurt. It will cost you nothing through this process; my brother’s insurance takes care of all medical issue finances for you.

So, ultimately, yes, I am asking for your kidney. But, first, I’m just asking that you’ll call to see if you may be the one that gives my brother life. This journey has opened my eyes to so many things – one of which that life is too precious, and any time I have the opportunity to change – let alone save – someone’s life, I’m taking it.

So, here’s the number. Call it. See if you might have that opportunity NOW. And, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading this far and considering it. It means the world to me and my family. It means life, and it means that you might be able to give it in a situation in which not many people ever have the opportunity. Think Eminem, as I’ve had it playing the entire time I’ve been writing this, “Lose yourself in the music, the moment, you own it; you better never let it go…You only get one shot; do not miss your chance to blow – cause opportunity comes once in a lifetime, Yo….”

Call it: 210.575.4483 – when they ask, tell them you’re calling for Stephen Preusz – they’ll take it from there.

B
(and the link "Lose Yourself" is a link to his You Tube video - play it while you read it...it helps).

"Lose Yourself"