A new year. A new begining. I love the idea of a do-over, and every January 1, it feels like just that - a chance to change things that aren't going so well, and to continue on with the things that are.
This past year was a VERY mixed bag for me. On one hand, my brother received a life-saving organ and operation, which pretty much trumps all bad for me. However, on the other hand, we lost my sweet Uncle Jim, and our sweet Boston. BJ became very ill, and that was a scary time that I don't care to revisit. Ever. Some unfortunate things happened in my business - things that were out of my control - but overall, they've become good learning experiences. Overall, though, we made it out unscathed - reasonably healthy, and hell of lot better off than many people.
I'm excited about this new year; I'm excited to begin another journey in my business, with the most wonderful and supportive husband alive, and with the punkiest of punks by my side. It sounds so cliche - and it is - but my GOD, time slows down NEVER. And the more you concentrate on how fast life passes by, the quicker it seems to go. My oldest baby is turning 12 this month. This is the last year he will ever be a preteen. His voice is getting deeper, he's lost his baby fat, and he's finding his own identity. While I'm so grateful for that, and while I have certainly enjoyed all the moments from there to here, it literally takes the wind out of me when I think about the relatively short time we have left with him. With all of them really...time slows down for no one.
With this is mind, my goal for this year is to rid myself of everything that is cluttering up my life in some form or another. All the physical STUFF that clutters my house - all the things that I felt like I NEEDED, but don't, are going. If I don't love something or actually use it often, it's getting the boot. Clothes, knick-knacks, anything and everything is getting evalutated. Mentally, I have A LOT to purge. I've always had a problem dealing with negative things that people say - even when I KNOW that the sayers are idiotic twits with nothing important enough in their lives to occupy the mean part of their brains. I know this. I'm reminded of this by everyone who loves me. My worth is not dependent upon what people think of me, although I think it's a normal human desire to be liked. I learned a lot about the spiteful nature of some just recently, and while it did hurt, it only taught me mean people suck. Plain and simple. The Grateful Dead were dead on. I need to purge the pathways in which these people get to me. I need to stop checking out FB posts in which mean people (and dare I say, not so smart people) not so subtly post snarky and ridiculous things. If I don't read them, they can't affect me! Stop reading them, dumbo - it's that simple! Will they still be small minded, not so smart individuals who still post stupid things? Absolutely! But I don't have to let it affect me. I am letting go of it.
While I clear out what I don't need, I'm going to welcome some things that I do. One of those things is reading. I'm a better person when I'm deep into a book. I'm more introspective, creative, and fun. And while that may seem strange to some, it is absolute truth for me. My goal this year is 50 books. It averages to roughly a book a week; I think it's doable. My reader makes selecting, purchasing, and reading the books so easy, so I don't really have an excuse. I'm also going to work out regularly. I would be lying if I said it's not so I can look good while standing next to my Barbie looking soon to be sister-in-law in their wedding in May, but I can honestly say it's not the main reason anymore. This life is such a gift, and to waste it feeling tired and like an out of shape schlep most days is disgraceful. I'm tired of it, both literally and figuratively. Cooking is going to be a top priority for me. I love it, and I love recipes. We eat fast food way too often because of the convenience, but that is something that is going to change as well. And when I type the word recipes, I immediately think of Pinterest - my own little form of Heaven - and I'm vowing to create a Pinterest craft once a month. I'm even thinking of hosting a little crafting session in my studio for photography related crafts.
So, while my list isn't long, I certainly have some areas in my life in which goals and perserverence will certainly pay off. One of my biggest goals that I didn't mention, is this blog. Last year, I used it mainly as a tool in the fight for my brother. And after a post generated so many calls from potential donors, I was scared to use it for anything else. But not anymore. This will be my vehicle for everything...photography, kids, family, business matters, and general stuff about life. So, please feel free to join in on the conversations. I LOVE reading comments - even if they are privately emailed. I recently received 46 inbox messages on facebook lending me support over a ridiculous circumstance, and I greatly appreciated them. If you don't feel like posting publicly, inbox me - I read EVERY last message, evern if don't get around to replying right away. What are some of your goals - your 'resolutions' so to speak?
Here's to a new year, a new chance, and the same me with some improvements. Cheers!
B
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